-Thank you. Thank you for having me back.
-I’m happy to have you here. I know you’re always
very busy touring. You’re on your
“Stay Hungry” tour. But you were also in Toronto
last week promoting a movie you’re in that was at the Toronto International
Film Festival called “Green Book.”
How was that? -So I’m not really a movie star
at all, you know? -Mm-hmm.
-Uh… [ Laughter ] So they have
a red carpet there, and I’m not really used to going
down the red carpet. I do stand-up comedy. There’s not a lot of
red carpet in stand-up. So I’m getting ready
to go down, and Viggo Mortensen
in the movie, Mahershala Ali, two really big,
powerful actors, and they’re talking
to the people in line. E! Entertainment, “Access Hollywood,”
lot of lights, microphones with the outlets wrapped around the microphone.
-Mm-hmm. -Okay. So the publicist —
[ Laughter ] The publicist is like, “Okay,
we’re going to get you down. Just hold tight.” So she finally brings me down. We pass all that and we go to
the end of the line with a guy with a selfie stick,
an iPhone, a camera. [ Laughter ] He’s the host,
he’s the boom guy, he’s the camera guy.
[ Laughter ] You know, he’s got some website
in Holland and, uh… [ Laughter ] That was my red carpet. Anytime I go down
the red carpet, it’s like — it’s like a piss break
for the photographers. [ Laughter ] Right? Because, like,
Mahershala Ali, it’s like lightning,
and then I come down, and I’m like, “Anybody?
Anybody want a –” [ Laughter ]
“Nothing?” So, it was good.
-Was it better when — I mean, that’s always
stressful, red carpets. Was it better
once you got inside? People there happy to see you?
-No. Um… [ Laughter ] It continued. I’ve never been the guy
included in anything. Like, um — it’s okay. Um…
[ Laughter ] Like, in high school,
I was never popular. I was, like — I was never
on the prom court. I was, like, like
at traffic court, you know? [ Laughter ] So I’m in the movie —
or I’m sitting down in the seat with my wife, waiting for the movie
to come on, but the director comes out and
he starts introducing the cast. And then he introduces
my name and I’m like, “What the —
Nobody told me… I was supposed to –” So I’m running up
the aisle to go on stage to be
with the rest of the cast. We see the movie, and then he
starts calling up everybody after the movie and I go, “Okay,
nobody told me this again. Let me go back up.” And he stopped at, like,
the third lead. So I had to act like I was
just stretching out my legs. [ Laughter ] So it’s good.
It’s good to be wanted. [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] -You —
[ Laughs ] You have a 16-month-old
daughter. -Yes, I do.
-Does she find you entertaining? -This is bothering me. [ Laughter ] My babysitter is making
my daughter laugh hysterically. So I’m in the room,
and my daughter, I’ve never seen her laugh
this way. I go, “What’s going on?” So babysitter leaves.
I go into my skit. [ Laughter ] Nothing.
She’s looking at me like, “What are you doing?”
[ Laughter ] “Bring back the headliner.”
So, uh… Now I’m stealing material
from the babysitter. [ Laughter ] And it’s still not working.
I don’t know — I’m really nervous about this.
-[ Laughs ] Another thing — we have
children very close in age, and another thing
I was very nervous about that you have coming up,
preschools. Are you going through that
whole song and dance now? -So I grew up in Chicago,
Northwest suburbs. I went to the preschool
near where I lived. -Yeah.
-You just signed up. Uh, now there’s, like,
an interview process you gotta go through. And my wife’s like,
“We got an interview.” I go, “For what?”
“Well, it’s the preschool, so, you know…” I got to be on, like,
my best behavior, and I’m not really, you know,
like, refined. [ Laughter ] I can’t walk into
the interview going, “‘Ey, how you doing?
Nice to see you.” I got to be like —
like, you know — you know,
“Hi, my name is –” I feel like — you know, I got
to act like I’m someone I’m not in order for my kid
to get into school. I don’t know.
It’s weird. I just wish we lived
back in the suburbs. -Yeah. I — last week we were
at a charity event in Carnegie Hall,
and you crushed. -Thank you.
-It was so fun to watch. And you have so much
great material about your family. Does your family then —
do they enjoy that? Do they give you feedback?
[ Laughter ] -My father and mother love
the fact that they’re in the — They act — my mother
is actually disappointed she’s not in the act
more often. -Yeah. -But my father has gotten
so involved in my career that he comes to my show, I feel like I’m back
in Little League, because after the show
he comes with, like, a notepad. [ Laughter ] He’s like, “Why didn’t you do
the Subway bit? That kills.” I go, what —
this ain’t Little League. He does hair for a living
and now all of a sudden he’s a comedy coach.
[ Laughter ] So — but it’s all in good fun. My parents are my, like,
my biggest fans. -Will your father watch this?
Will he watch tonight? -Well, I keep getting calls
every time I’m on a show. He calls,
“What time is ‘Meyers’ on?” [ Laughter ] I go, “I don’t —
I don’t know.” “No, when do you go on
in the show? Because I want to, you know,
watch just you.” [ Laughter ] I go, “Just record it
and skip everything else. I mean, I don’t know what
to tell you, Dad.” -I won’t take it
personally. [ Laughter ] This is, uh…
[ Applause ] This is really exciting
as well. You’re — Is it — it’s January, right?
January 19th? Is that when you’re coming?
-January 19th. Yes. -So you’re doing a show
at Madison Square Garden. You just put pre-sale out.
You sold out the show. So you’re doing a second show. -Well, we didn’t really
sell out the show. Basically the first show
is just for my family. -Okay, got you.
[ Laughter ] -So we added a second show. So — yeah, there’s two shows
available. -That’s really exciting,
and obviously we’re always happy to have you back
in New York City doing comedy. And it’s just such a pleasure
to have you here. Thanks so much, Sebastian.
-Thank you. -I really appreciate it.