Intercourse Pain After Childbirth


Hi, I’m Susan Bratton and I have a letter from one of my fans about his wife’s childbirth scars. And I’ve got some great advice for you. Here’s the letter from Harry. My wife has a scar from childbirth on the bottom part of her yoni. Last night during sex when we were doing the mermaid position you told us about, I could tell she was uncomfortable just by reading her body language. During sex, she gave me the dreaded “Can you finish up soon,” so I stopped and said “Babe, I can tell this isn’t working for you.” Apparently, the way we were making love was putting pressure on her scar and causing pain. I had no idea. I was trying to change things up and stimulate her G area with my penis. So I completely understood afterward when she explained to me that it was painful. Any tips or ideas on how I can make it less painful for her? Love Harry. Alright Harry, I’m so glad you asked me. I know some stuff about this. Alright, there are a lot of different kinds of scarring that can happen with childbirth, but the most common is the one that your wife has. So when the baby’s head comes out of the vagina, at the vaginal canal – that small little opening in her vagina – it’s a sphincter muscle. And a lot of times, that gets torn, and when it gets torn it usually rips at the bottom on her perineum. And a lot of doctors in the past would do something called an episiotomy, where they would actually cut the bottom of the sphincter to open it up so that the head could come out without ripping that tissue. For a lot of women, they have those with or without… they have the tearing or they have an episiotomy and then they get something called a fistula which is like a cyst. When it’s not sewn up right, it can have this empty area inside that gets very very painful. And sometimes women have to go back in and they have to have the fistula cut out and have that resewn again. Now you can prevent a lot of this before childbirth with a lot of vulva massage in that area to soften it and stretch it and open it and relax it so it doesn’t tear. But it sounds like this happened with your wife and what’s great is that she told you and you can fix it. You can actually fix it for her. Now if she has a fistula, she will need to get that taken care of by a doctor. But if it’s just a matter of it being scar tissue that hurts, the best thing that you can do is a series of yoni massages. And what I want you to do is I want you to get coconut oil – organic coconut oil – and I want you to warm it up, lay down a towel, and for a couple of nights a week I want you to work on the scarring. Basically what you have to do is you have to get her body to become aware of the area. You have to bring blood. Engorge that tissue by rubbing it and manipulating it. You’re going to start out very slowly and then you’re going to go deeper and deeper. Over time you’re going to really want to knead and manipulate it so that the nerve endings start knitting together again with all that incremental blood flow. Now this also works if she has a Cesarean scar – the scar above her mons pubis… kind of along the edge of the top of her pubic hair in her abdomen. That scar can also be very painful for women and sometimes it can get what’s called a keloid where it’s a raised scar. Now there’s two different things you can use for scars and I went to the drugstore and I think you can probably see this. This is the shelf at a local CVS. And there are two choices that you have. One is that there’s a scar cream and I think it’s made out of allium out of onions somehow. You can put that on top of her abdomen on that scar, but you can’t put that on her yoni. Don’t put that on the delicate tissue. So she has a Cesarean scar – use it there. The other thing that works really well are these silicone sheets. I’ll show you that too. Do you see that? That silicone sheet you can lay on top of any kind of a keloid scar and it’ll reduce or lower the scarring and get rid of the scarring. I had a really bad keloid from my Cesarean section. Tim took his thumb with oil almost every night for a year or two. When we were just lying in bed watching TV, he would put oil on it and then he would just take his thumb and he would just rub back and forth on that scar and just soothe that scar. And pretty soon the keloid… and I wore the scar patch… and pretty soon the keloid scar was gone and I have no more pain, no more sensitivity. It’s healed; it’s knitted. I’ve got full nerve responsiveness now and everything’s great. So if it’s hurting your wife to do those positions, don’t do those positions. But you should be able to get everything healed really beautifully so that everything feels good to her. It’s all about bringing the blood there, bringing the energy there, bringing the heat there, bringing the healing. You’re touching her with a healing, nurturing touch and pretty soon she won’t feel that. All she’ll feel is pleasure. So thank you for asking me such a great question because I know there are so many couples out there who aren’t having the kind of sex they could be having but for a beautiful simple massage experience. Alright, I love you. Thank you for writing to me. Have great sex. Bye. Hey! Susan Bratton here, trusted hot sex advisor to millions, and I have a present for you. I have a brand new book. It’s called Sexual Soulmates: The six essentials of connected sex. And in the last couple of weeks over 30,000 people have downloaded a free copy, and I’d love to give you a copy as my gift. So go ahead and click the link here and download your copy of my newest book, Sexual Soulmates.

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