2 Years of Infertility Summary | PCOS | Pregnancy & Miscarriage | Infertility Journey [CC]

2 Years of Infertility Summary | PCOS | Pregnancy & Miscarriage | Infertility Journey [CC]


And all of you are looking at me going,
“Like of course!” Hello and welcome ladies! Welcome back, if
you’re one of my wonderful subscribers And hello and welcome if you were new
here. My name is Jordan also known as JAKS and this is my channel where I share
with you my story to building a family. I thought I’d take a moment to sit down
and kind of recap what has happened in the last two years since a few days ago
was the two-year like anniversary of us starting infertility treatments.
Honestly I had almost forgotten all of the stuff that we had gone through and
tried so I wanted to get everybody kind of up to speed. If you’re new to this
channel, this is a great place to start. You guys I’m gonna go from start to
finish what’s happened in our infertility journey so far. So go ahead
grab your hot chocolate. Grab your coffee and sit down and get ready to go on this
roller coaster of a journey with me. So even though we started fertility
treatments two years ago, I do need to take just one more step back to give you
the full story. Promise it won’t take too too long.
If you just came off of my one-year update and that’s what you’re watching,
and now it’s suggesting this then go ahead and skip to this time to go ahead
and skip to just year two where I left off. In May of 2016 The Husband and I got
married. The day before our wedding I got my last depo-provera shot. I knew
that I didn’t want to worry about birth control. It sounds silly “not worry
about birth control.” I didn’t want to worry about birth control while I was
on the honeymoon. I knew that it took six to twelve months
for depo to wear off so I wanted to make sure that when we were ready to have
kids (this is hilarious retelling this by the way) when we were ready to have kids
I wanted the depo shot to be completely out of my system. Right? I didn’t
want that to be a hindrance. I got my last depo shot and in May and then it
wasn’t until January I got a cycle. It was a doozy of a cycle. It lasted 25
days, not my cycle my period. That was too many days turns out
and I got an appointment with my OBGYN. She agreed that was too many days and
she also asked me a bunch of questions that led her to believe that I had PCOS.
She ordered a bunch of lab work and ultrasounds. Turns out she was
right. Thus began our infertility journey. Starting in February of 2017 with
Metformin; very commonly prescribed for women with PCOS. It was not right for me.
I didn’t know any better at the time. Lesson learned. I have a whole playlist
of PCOS videos now that I know better. I am a researcher so I try to share as
much of my knowledge on my channel as I can. If there’s nothing wrong with your
blood sugar, you don’t need to be on Metformin. Go ahead go skill up on PCOS, so
you can have a more informed talk with your doctor than I did. After three or so
months of Metformin, which is incredibly grueling on your system, I had not gotten
another cycle. In June of 2017 my OBGYN suggested a progesterone challenge, which
is just the process of taking progesterone, which obviously raises your
progesterone letting it fall and seeing if your body will naturally respond to
that trigger because that is what happens during a natural cycle. Your
progesterone is up, you’re not pregnant, so it falls back down and you start your
period. She suggested we do the progesterone challenge and see if a
cycle would just pick up naturally. [Maybe] my body just needs a little jumpstart. It
did not work. In July then we did a progesterone challenge with Femara. I
did a blood draw after I’d taken Femara. Then after so many days after taking Femara they draw your LH to see if you
have ovulated. I had not. She suggested that I could continue doing cycles with
her or I could go see an RE. At this point I was educated enough and I
was just like, “No, done with this nonsense.” If you’ve been watching me for a while, you
know that I believe you should not do any fertility treatments with your OBGYN,
if it all it can be helped. They are not there to make babies. They are
there to deal with your uterus pre-baby. They are dealing with your uterus when
it has a baby in it. They do not deal with that intermediary state step of
getting a baby in there. That is not their job. That is why there’s
reproductive endocrinologist. Please just go to a RE as soon as you know you
need fertility treatments. PSA over. In October of 2017 I had my first
appointment with my RE and I really liked her. I mention that because if you
don’t like your RE, if you don’t jive with them, pick a new one. Go get another
consult you’re gonna be spending a lot of money and time with them and pain and
emotions so go ahead and make sure you like them to start with and don’t feel
bad if you have to switch at the beginning or in between cycles. Most
women end up with more than one RE at some point. My RE ordered a litany of
tests. All the tests came back relatively normal, confirmed my PCOS
diagnosis, confirmed they don’t have any genetic markers or predispositions.
She said that we should try a monitored medical cycle with oral medications. Very
similar to what I did with my OBGYN, but this time she was gonna up my dose of
Fermara to the maximum dose. The monitored portion of monitored medical cycles is
that you go in for ultrasounds to check on your follicle growth. I came in for my
follicle scan and there was nothing happening, so we converted that cycle to
a hybrid cycle literally a few days before Christmas. Luckily though that did
the trick. I responded very well to Gonal-F.
This cycle had consisted of progesterone, Fermara, and Gonal-F and a
trigger shot. Triggered, ovulated on January 1st of 2018
and we got pregnant off that cycle. Oh god it’s so hard to look! I don’t want to! Went in for beta’s really early because
I was testing out my trigger shot and they doubled and tripled just like they
were supposed to. Scheduled my first ultrasound I think at six and a half
weeks and that’s when we got our first bit of kind of telling news. The baby was
measuring behind by a few days and the heart rate was rather low. It was very
early though. They tell you that that can mean that maybe the heartbeat just
started. They said come back in a week. We came back in a week. On the one-year
anniversary of me starting my fertility treatments, I was told that this wasn’t
going to be a viable pregnancy but the extra bad part of that was that the
heartbeat haven’t stopped all the way, which meant I needed to come in in
another week to see if the heartbeat had stopped all the way so that we could
schedule my D&C. I think that is one of the particularly cruelest moments in
this journey. There’s gonna be a few others but that was particularly cruel
knowing that my baby was dying and knowing that I was gonna get a D&C,
because I wanted the genetic results. It’s just having to wait and keep going
to appointments and keep like functioning. Oh that was awful. Late
February I had my D&C. I went on a vacation in March. When we got back from that
vacation we jumped right back on the horse and started another hybrid
injectable cycle. Guys it’s the last shot of the cycle! One shot! Over the summer
of 2018, we did two more of those cycles. We did two more of those cycles. I had to
find a new role or a new job because my position was being moved to a different
or within my company, which was stressful. My mother had cancer removed, which was
very stressful. We went on vacation in June, which was not stressful, but it did
stop us from doing our fourth cycle back to back. [Crowd noise] [Austin] Oh you are recording. We’re about to see some
lovely monuments both in the light and in the dark. [Hayden] Mostly the dark. [JAKS] I appreciate it thumbs up.
Thumbs up for this video! My plan for 2018 had been to just
back-to-back-to-back cycles until we got to cycle number six because that’s when
I was gonna call it quits if it didn’t work. Again came back from the vacation.
Called the RE. Said I wanted to start another cycle.
She said take a pregnancy test. I did. It was negative and then I started the
progesterone which is the first medication in my hybrid cycle protocol. A
week into my progesterone, I was feeling weird. I was feeling weird.
I can remember standing in the bathroom with the husband and I was just
like my boobs hurt. I was like that’s weird. The only time my boobs hurt
are when… they just don’t. The only other time that I can remember
them ever hurting was when I was pregnant the first time. Soooo I’ve been on
this journey for a while. I have a zillion pregnancy tests in the house. You know the
little cheapy ones. It’s 25 cents. I call it 25 cents for sanity for the day and
I’m more than happy to pay the toll to not think throughout the day oh it might
be pregnant. Some people on this
journey banned themselves from pregnancy test because they don’t like
seeing the negative over and over and over again. I’m kind of on the other
spectrum. I’m like if it gives me peace of mind for the day 25 cents is way worth
it for me to not be like “well that was a weird twinge over here I wonder if I ovulated.”
No to know, I will pay the toll so I didn’t even think about it at this point.
I’ve taken literally hundreds of these cheapie tests. I took the cheapy test I put it
on the counter, turned on the shower, and went about my morning routine, came back,
looked at it, and it was I didn’t even have to like pick it up to see it was
positive honestly didn’t know what to do I ran upstairs, because the husband was
working out, pulled him off the treadmill, and I was like, “oh my gosh look at this
look at this! Look at this!” He didn’t know what he was looking at. I was like, “It’s a
pregnancy test!” He’s like, “eeeeh?” I couldn’t believe it and so I sat down… you can
watch this video… sat down and took a real, you know, test that says pregnant or
not. I just really couldn’t believe it. [The Husband] I don’t know
how to do this one. [JAKS] It’s just if there’s lines. [The Husband laughs] [JAKS] What had happened is the
stimulation drugs, the Gonal-F, injectable drugs, they stay in your
system long after that cycle. Didn’t know that until this occurred. I had had a
pseudo normal cycle. It was still very long. It would have been a 45 day
long cycle, but I ovulated with the help of these drugs. They had
boosted my my follicles up enough, so that they could actually be ovulated.
Because I’d done those two previous cycles back to back my body was kind of
sort of competent enough to follow through on this cycle, and then I got
pregnant. It wasn’t natural by any means but it was assisted. It was an
assistant cycle. The next hours were spent feverishly going through my logs on my
app. my period tracking app. So my app lets you track all of the signs
of ovulation as well as just like your period. There had been a cluster of days
back in June where I had sworn I was ovulating. I didn’t take a test (totally
kick myself for it later). I didn’t take a test because we were on a break.
A break like we’re on vacation and I was like we’re not gonna think about
infertility for a month. A little mental break. Should’ve trusted myself.
Whatever at least I did enough data to figure out when I Ovulated. I called my
clinic said, “I need an ultrasound.” We scheduled it for much later than our
first ultrasound to avoid the same drama as last time.
I say drama; trauma would be an equally appropriate word. My clinic was very
open to that, They totally understood that we’re not doing six and a half week
ultrasound. We’re gonna wait till you’re into your seventh week. Really appreciate
that, when the nurses know that you’re monitoring everything so you know what’s
going on with your body. In the meantime I did come in for betas. This is all
documented. Bye-bye you can watch this Went in for my betas and they were so
low. Were so low and I went into that seven-week ultrasound ready just ready
for bad news and then it wasn’t bad news. It was a perfectly healthy looking seven
week nugget. That’s what the ultrasound tech kept calling it, a
nugget. It was perfectly fine. It was measuring
perfectly. The heart rate was perfect and a whole weight was just lifted from me
at that moment. I graduated from my fertility clinic. I got appointment with
my normal OBGYN for ten weeks and I waited out those weeks. It was so
weird not to have to go in for blood draws or ultrasounds. Three whole weeks
they left me alone and it was bizarre. Went in for what I thought was gonna be
an ultrasound at my ob/gyn. I told the husband to come along. Turned out it
wasn’t an ultrasound. I had misunderstood and it was just a
like a Doppler scan to hear the heartbeat. That’s what I misunderstood.
The OBGYN had said we’re gonna hear the heartbeat and I’ve interpreted as “see.”
It was very lucky because then the husband came even though most of the
time your partner wouldn’t come to that ultrasound. I guess not
ultrasound appointment, but he was there, and thankfully so because she laid me
back on the table, she got out the Doppler, and searched for heartbeat, and
couldn’t find one. Each moment that ticked by I just was more and more sure
of what had happened. She said, “Maybe you have a tilted uterus.” I don’t. “Maybe it’s just in a weird position we’ll get you in. You’re gonna get the ultrasounds
you wanted,” and they left us alone in the room. Because there was already a lady in
there only sonogram room, they kicked her out and had me come in. The ultrasound
tech probed around for a while and then said that she had to step out of the
room for a minute, which for the record is a cruddy thing to do to someone. Like
I’m not gonna tell you what happened. It was just a very weird interaction and a
complete nightmare scenario. Obviously incredibly thankful that The Husband was
there. They shuffled us back to the other room.
The OBGYN told us that this pregnancy was at an end and the heartbeat had
probably stopped about two weeks ago, which jived
right with when my morning sickness had stopped very abruptly. Very abruptly
all my symptoms had stopped and I had been having pretty bad morning sickness.
I had been losing about a pound a week because I just couldn’t not eat. I wanted
to believe that it was okay because I was at ten weeks and all of the boards
and books will tell you that ten weeks yeah your morning sickness can wane off.
Mine stopped abruptly. Little did I know it was because that pregnancy was ending.
Oh I’m mistaken. This appointment was actually a 12 week appointment. It
occurred on the due date of our first pregnancy, so I went in on the due date
of my first pregnancy for my 12 week appointment, and found out the pregnancy
wasn’t viable. That was another really low moment because of all the days. It
could have been it was that one. I could have been such the opposite. It could
have been a day of redemption and clearing the slate of the sadness around
this day. It could have turned that day of sadness into something great.
Instead the world kind of doubled down. She said she could get us scheduled for
a D&C. That happened two days later, which I was very grateful that happened in a
much quicker time frame. It was very helpful. The Husband stayed home with me
for the next few days just to make sure I was okay. A few days after the D&C
after I’d recovered physically a bit… It took me about a month to physically
fully recover from the D&C which was way longer than my previous D&C, which only
took two weeks. It irked me of course. You don’t want to be reminded
every day of that. A few days after my D&C I made a list of things I wanted to
accomplish in the remainder of the year. It was my 2018 goals around
fertility and everything that involves, which is your career, and your
relationships, and your insurance, and your finances. Infertility just affects
all of those areas so much. I made a list of I believe the 15 things for 2018.
I believe I completed 14 and a half of the things on that list. The only thing I
didn’t complete fully was getting my tattoos scheduled. I found my artist and
I know the concept I want to go with. But I didn’t get that scheduled because nice
tattoos cost a lot of money and we went into a high savings mode because we
decided to start the adoption process. If you want to know the full cost
of adoption [click] I have a video for that too. One of the things on my list was to find
an adoption agency and start the home study process. In December of 2018, we
started our adoption home study process and obviously chose an agency as well. We
also got insurance lined up and our fertility clinic on board to start an
IVF cycle, because I’m an insane person. I decided to do my home study adoption
process and my IVF at the same time. Don’t recommend. It was very stressful.
All of you are looking at me going, “Of course.” On January 8th, I went in
for my egg retrieval. I retrieved 33 eggs. There’s plenty of videos, if you want to
go watch the drama that ensued, but we ended up with three healthy PGS normal
embryos on ice now waiting for us. I’m very excited about that.
It did validate me in the fact that I switched from hybrid cycles to IVF after
those miscarriages. I believe truly that those miscarriages and that high
degradation of embryos is because of some underlying issue. This year I am
going to pursue probably getting a sperm DNA fragmentation test just to get some
answers and close the loop on that whole process. December and January were spent
completing the home study process. As of February 1st, we have our home study
complete. We only need one more meeting before we can go live with our adoption
agency. If you follow me on Instagram, then you can get the latest and greatest
on that. We do plan to go live sometime in February or early March for our
adoption agency and save our embryos until probably 2020. We chose an agency
that works with a very small amount of families, so the wait times usually
aren’t that bad. They also provide a lot of care to birth mothers, which was
very important to me. We are also potentially working with a
private situation. I haven’t mentioned that before because it is
honestly just not very likely to work out. The birth father isn’t on board as
far as we can tell. Communication is shaky. It is definitely something we are
pursuing, but it is like I said, just not very certain. The adoption agency is
obviously a much more concrete option. The only reason we’re spending our time
and energy with the private option is because it is way cheaper like waaaay
cheaper. [laughs] It’s way cheaper and there are personal connections with the
potential birth mother, which would be, in our eyes a very positive having those
connections with that child. That potential birth mother is due in
March, so we should know within the next month whether or not that works
out. That being said I do have a nursery ready just in case that works out and a
nursery tour video will be going up soon. The plan for the rest of 2019
is to go live with our adoption agency and hopefully get placed with a
child. That is our 2019 hope and goal, and I don’t see a reason why it shouldn’t
happen. Of course I’m gonna keep making videos. If there’s anything in
particular you want to see or questions you have, leave them down below. Thank you,
thank you once again for following me. It has been wonderful to have you ladies on
this journey with me and until next time ladies keep on fighting!

3 thoughts on “2 Years of Infertility Summary | PCOS | Pregnancy & Miscarriage | Infertility Journey [CC]

  • I don’t think you are crazy for going through egg retrieval while getting adoption started. After all, the success rate of embryo transfers is affected by the age you were when the egg was collected, not when you transfer so it makes sense to me.

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